DEAR 16 YEAR OLD ME…
by Niki Wyre
Welcome to the tenth day post for the Wego Health Activist Writers Month Challenge. Thirty posts in thirty days. Today Wego Health prompted us to write a letter to the 16 year old you. They asked what would we tell ourselves and what we would want to make our younger self more aware of. Great questions. I’m sure most of us at one time or another wished we could go back to that age with the knowledge we have now. I know that I personally have thought about this a lot. There are so many things I wish I could of known, that I know now to heal the broken teenager I was. So here goes.
Dear Niki,
Today is your 16th birthday. As I write this to you, I’m double your age now at 32. There are so many things I wish I could tell you now so you can learn from my mistakes.
1. I want you to know that it’s okay to tell the truth about your abuse and living situation. You have nothing to be ashamed for and it was not your fault. No child is responsible for sexual abuse by any adult let alone a parent. Don’t listen to those of you that would tell you otherwise. No ten to twelve year old asks to be abused at the hand of a parent. Period. Talk about it and stop punishing yourself and hiding all the secrets inside. It’s okay to share, ask for help, talk to a guidance counselor or a good friend. Don’t let your family sweep it under the rug like a dirty secret leaving it to fester inside. By cutting yourself, inflicting injuries and starving yourself, you are letting them win not you. Rise up and live the life you deserve.
2. You are not fat. When our stepfather bought us Ab rollers, diet foods, and weighed you in, you should know that 128 pounds at 5’9″ is not fat. You are underweight and unhealthy. Stop starving yourself and working out through the night in order to loose more weight. Enjoy the body you have. Be confident and love yourself.
3. Grownups aren’t always right. Don’t give up on fighting for your freedom, keep on writing as it soothes your soul and don’t be afraid to follow your dreams and not the ones that others expect of you. In the end, it is your life.
4. Pat yourself on your back for your accomplishments and don’t beat yourself up for not meeting the expectations others put on you. Don’t dwell on your mistakes of could of should ofs. You are a smart girl turning into a beautiful woman inside & out. Don’t listen to others that say you can’t do something or expect you to fail. Live for your expectations not theirs.
5. Seek medical attention. I know it’s embarrassing to talk about and our stepfather never believed us when we complained of pain or tummy issues. The truth is your complaints are valid. Don’t let him make you afraid to share what’s truly going on. For instance, going potty once every 2 weeks is not normal! Believe me, pursuing these health issues sooner would change a lot in your life. Don’t be afraid to talk about your weird symptoms like unwanted body hair, bowel movements, knee pain etc. Doctors need to know this in order to help you.
6. Bury a time capsule for future me in Gran’s backyard. I want to be able to read all those wonderful poems we wrote, see the pictures we have drawn and read all our diaries. Right now it may not feel important to you but later on in our life, you will wish you had.
7. Know that you aren’t invisible or flawed. Every person is different in their own way and learn to love yourself for who you are not who people think you should be. Learn to be able to look in the mirror and not criticize your reflection.
8. Find what you are passionate about and follow it as far as you can. Without passion or love in what you are doing, there is no purpose.
9. I can promise that there is a path laid out for you and even though times might be tough, you are way stronger than you think. You are a survivor and not matter what life throws at you in the future, you will make it through.
10. Most importantly don’t be afraid to follow your heart. Even if it may lead in heartbreak or wrong relationships, it’s okay. It’s life experience that will blossom who you are inside and build up your character like building blocks.
Sincerely,
Future Niki
If you want to see all the Wego Challenge blogs check here.
Looking for more blogs by Niki? Please check here.
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