Things you can use Biofreeze for but probably shouldn’t….
by Niki Wyre
If you have followed our group on Facebook or are a regular visitor on our blogs, here at rachicks.com, you’ve probably heard us mention Biofreeze a time or two or a thousand times. While Biofreeze is amazing for achy joints or muscles, it is some potent stuff. It is like crack for my joints, so I won’t give it up but it can make for some pretty amusing situations. I thought I would put together a list of things you could but probably shouldn’t do with your Biofreeze….
Use #1 – Biofreeze Fallout for Alone Time
Want some alone time? Have visitors that just aren’t leaving your home and have extended past their welcome? Maybe you have an annoying boss or coworker that hovers around you? No problem! Apply Biofreeze liberally over your achy joints. The menthol sting in the air is a sure way to clean out a room or hovering people. It’s like a solitude bomb or fallout.
Use #2 – Mace
Do you ever wish you had a weapon to protect you when walking out to car at night? Perhaps during an evening walk? Keep a small bottle of Biofreeze Spray in your purse or pocket! One well placed spray is just as effective as mace on your would be attacker. Not only just it get in eyes but with burning nose and lungs…. well attacker no more. (Note: Just make sure you have the spray nozzle facing away from you. Unfortunately in the dark I have had the misfortune of spraying myself and not a body part before. Not recommended..)
Use #3 – Nail Biting Deterrent
Do you have the horrible habit of biting your nails? Perhaps you chew on your cuticles or finger tips when you are nervous? No worries. I tried almost every way to quit biting my nails since I was a child. I even had my parents apply nasty tasting polish in order to deter me from biting away at them. Nothing worked…. until I started applying biofreeze. Even after washing hands a few times, it would linger under nails or in nail beds. One finger placed in mouth, and you will remember not to do that again! Not only the taste but the unpleasant sensation it gives your tongue and mouth. It will take a lot of drinking to wash that away.
Use #4 – Checking for Paper Cuts or Shaving Nicks
If you ever applied Biofreeze on a knee after shaving, you might learn a good lesson. Biofreeze is very good at finding each little cut or nick on your skin’s surface. Can you feel the burn? This is one of the uses that you really shouldn’t do unless you like burning and stinging. However, it will make you stop thinking about pain in knee or wherever you applied the Biofreeze for more than a few minutes.
Use #5 – Not Tonight Honey
When you are flaring or hurting pretty bad, normally the bedtime intimacy is not on your mind. How can you let your partner know that attention is unwanted? Before bed apply your Biofreeze liberally. You can almost guarantee that your partner will stay on the other side of the bed, unless you have tried this one too many times and they are immune or bought nose plugs…
Use #6 – Nasal Decongestant
Having stuffed up sinuses can be miserable. Out of vick’s vapor rub? Not a problem. Go into closed bathroom. Spray a few applications of Biofreeze on the shower head. Turn shower on to hottest setting. They just sit down on the toilet seat and breathe in the minty fresh steam. This actually worked pretty well for me in a hotel when I was sick. (Note: Downside? Make sure you let it run enough so the showerhead is clean of Biofreeze. Otherwise the next shower user will be in for a big surprise.)
Use #7 – Revenge on Cheating Partner
(Note: This is definitely one of the things you shouldn’t do on the list…. but after this story was shared with me, I couldn’t resist adding it to the list.) Has your partner cheated you? A woman scorned can be scary. One of our members reported that she took out her partner’s underwear while he was at work. She sprayed Biofreeze inside the crotch area of all the undies. After drying they still smelled a little minty, so a squirt of Febreeze covered it up. Then she put all the underwear back in the drawer as normal. The unsuspecting cheater will put on underwear. It will take more than a few minutes for it warm up to body heat level or sweat to start to activate the Biofreeze. Then holy tamale!!
Use # 8 – Relief from Hot Flashes
Do you suffer from hot flashes or cold sweats at night? Prednisone giving you flashes or perhaps a low grade fever from a flare? Take a few seconds to spray your entire back, back of neck and shoulders with Biofreeze before donning your nightwear. Along with the pain relief, it has a pretty awesome cooling effect so you will be able to get some cool relief without changing temperature in house or having to change your pajamas several times a night.
Use #9 – Smelling Salts for Fainted Person
Did a loved one or friend just pass out or faint? No smelling salts on hand? Not an issue any more. Apply extra Biofreeze on hand before placing hand under the individual’s nose. Instant smelling salts. The extra menthol freshness should have them snapping out of it in no time.
Use #10 – Instant Air Freshener
Did unexpected guests suddenly show up at your doorstep? Did you not have time to clean? Perhaps you ran out of air freshener spray? No problem. Go stand behind a fan and put a few squirts of Biofreeze into the air flow. It will disperse quickly and strongly. Not many smells can override the might Biofreeze menthol. (Note: Please stand BEHIND the fan… not in front of it. I, on more than one occasion, forgot to turn off the fan before applying the spray. Instantly in my nose, eyes, and mouth plus it got Little Niki too in one shot. Oops)
I hope you smiled or giggled at the Biofreeze misuses as well 🙂
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very very funny!
Awesome.
That was hilarious. #5 is my favorite!